Life is never easy. Even as a child, I fell out of place coming from a broken home. Kids can be cruel growing up and being of mix heritage, it was worse for me and my younger sister living with mom. Mom tried to do the best she could, as well as my grandparents, but it was never the same. We still felt out of place growing up.
I thought I found the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with but a few years ago, she broke it off. We were living together, for awhile, and even set the wedding date. But life can throw us those unexpected curves at times and we are no longer together. Life goes on, unfortunately. Perhaps, I am destined to be alone.
I spent alot of time on the Internet and on IRC -Internet Relay Chat where I met my soulmate. It was rather an auspicious beginning as we would exchange messages about of all things ---philosophy. She was a trip of sorts, as we meet in a channel called #cafe but we rarely talk in channel but conversed through private messages. It really got crazy at times, when we had no idea what we were discussing at times.
She was new to IRC at the time and one day she suddenly asked if she was the only one who attracted strange people on the Net. She had meet someone recently that shared her love for writing. He was a high school English teacher who was in the process of writing a novel living in New York. What really scared her was the comment he made to her about wanting to know what the job scene was like by her.
At the sametime, I had this female in California interested in me. She even gave me her resume and wanted me to send it out where I lived in Michigan. Scary as how both of our lives seemed to cross paths at the same moment. We thought it was destiny that brought us together.
We started to talk often. Despite my crazy work schedule since I worked the 3 to 11 p.m. shift and she was usually tired by 11 p.m.. We found out we shared alot of things in common like poetry, Shakespeare, and we both don't like lettuce.
We would spend the weekends, talking and writingg crazy stories. She would rewrite them and give them out to some of our mutual IRC friends. She had the habit to tell my friends that I wrote them by myself. She was definitely different than the average female you would meet out there.
IRC has a way of driving people together. I started to have strong feelings for her. Unfortunately, she lived in Maryland and I was in Michigan and she was about nine years my senior. At the sametime, someone she knew for awhile also popped into IRC vying for her attention.
How could I compete with someone who was her own age and that she known for awhile? He lived in Toronto, where she grew up and visited a couple times a year. She told him to meet her on IRC since they never met in person but meet through a message feed called WildNet and talked numerous times on the phone. They kept missing each other when she was last up there.
She introduced me to him as well as her bestfriend. We were all getting along for awhile. But one night, I decided to talk to her friend from Toronto -just a nice chat between the two of us. We both came to realized that we were both experiencing more than just normal friendship for her. We had a truce that we would remain friends no matter who she choose. But we know she didn't like to be in position to choose and if we both pushed things that she would choose neither and that would be the end of everything. That her friendship was more important in the long run.
At the sametime, she happened to be going on one of her numerous trips to Toronto. So he had the opportunity to meet her which almost didn't happen. I feared that I would lose her to him. It was just a mess at times.
Earlier in the week before she left for Toronto, things started to heat up with her best friend and the other guy's best friend. They got into an argument where alot of unkind words were spoken and threats were made. It was the start of channel takeovers since they all had regular channels where they would be found on. She became stuck in the middle where both sides told her, she didn't have to take sides but things escalated before she knew it.
During her few days abscence things continued on. She almost didn't meet him since she was talking to his best friend that Saturday afternoon when he called to say goodbye and that he made plans with another friend. His best friend knew that she had to be pushed a bit and that they made plans for all of them to go to the movies and when she told his best friend about what happened, he made her call him and tell him that she really wanted me to go out with him. In the end, his best friend decided that the two of them needed to meet each other alone.
At the sametime, someone from my past popped into my life. I knew her for years, as we used to talk as good friends. She was married at the time and I was engaged but now is divorced and with two small children. We decided to go out about the sametime. Our lives seemed to be going parallel to each other.
For my soulmate things seemed to be going well and her friend despite the distance but in reality things were going downhill already. He didn't like that she would discuss him to her best friend and even to me. His best friend dissention as he threw back comments that they both said in fun, out of context to him. It was a mess and she was caught in a no win situation.
Then he decided, he would not have anything to do with her. He didn't even explain things as he left her in limbo out there. She was really upset over things and it took her awhile for her to finally let go. She didn't need someone like him, whose excuse was that he is covering his ass and that he is the only one that matters in the end.
About the sametime, my past decided that we should stop seeing each other. That she needed to straighten out her life. What made it difficult was that I got along with her children and missed doing things with them as a group.
So it has come to the end of a year, who knows how or whatelse can happen. How much more could these two lives parallel each other? No one knows for sure. Nothing will surprise the two of us now. We been through alot of ups and downs but we remained good friends throughout our many changing moods.
All I know for sure is my soulmate tends to attract a rather eclectic group of people and that you never know what will happen in life. Perhaps, we are destined not to be happy but touch other people lives.