"The Hidden Rage" 6/7/98


She appeared to be this sweet, little thing who look like she could barely harm a fly. But deep down, she was full of anger and hostility towards the male species. She hide it so well, except to me, the unfortunate one who was to marry her and become the stepping stone to her wrath.

We were in bliss for the first six months before signs of her temper and rage started to surface. She got angry when I would forget to call if I was running late at work or left the cap of the toothpaste. At first it was just her yelling but then it became physical. For someone so tiny, she could really land a heavy punch. I was so black and blue, having to hide my marks with long sleeve shirts.

I was running late one night, everything possible going wrong. My boss stops into my office as I was about to leave wanting some report to be faxed immediate to another office. I had to find the report that was buried under the stacks of paper on my desk. While faxing, the papers decided they wanted to get eaten in it. Finally, I got it done and was then in a middle of a traffic jam. A sign of how my night was going to be.

I walked in the door with a lovely bouquet of fresh flowers, knowing she would be a bit angry. She had this look like I never saw before, her eyes glazed full of anger as I walked over to kiss her on the cheek. She smelled of alcohol, as I handed her the flowers. She takes it from her my hands and violently throws it across the floor.

"So you decided to come home to me. About time!", as she reaches for her drink and gulps it down pouring another glass full of scotch.

"I am sorry sweetie. Boss caught me as I was leaving needing something fax right away and then I got caught in traffic."

"Sure, sure. That's your excuse for the past week. I rush home from a long day at work, to make you an edible dinner and now it's ruin. When will you ever learn to use a phone.", as she gulps down her drink and pours another.

"Honey, dont you think you had enough to drink? As for dinner, it's not ruin. I was only 15 minutes late.", as I try to take the glass from her hand but she pushes me away.

"Don't tell me how much I can drink! ", as she starts hitting me and pushing me against the wall. Losing my balance, I hit the wall falling to the floor into a scrunch up ball.

"You are such a wimp! You can't take a little hit from a tiny female. Such a disappointed thing to be called a man. If your male friends, could see what a pathetic loser you are, lying on the floor, they would be so embarassed to say that they knew you." , as she offers to help me up with her hands but then kicks me in the balls, causing me to slink back on to the floor laughing her head off.

"Come on baby, show me that you are a real man! Hahaha but you aren't one! Just a pathetic fool, lying on the floor! You could not even please a slice of toast, by eating it. What a waste of a penis!!" You dont know how to satisfy a female.", as she slaps me around as I am in a daze from the earlier abuse by her hands.

Trying to get up, my head spinning around barely able to focus on her distorted figure. My hand reaches out to her for support, I stumble and fall, causing her to unexpectly lose her balance and crashing into the floor lamp. Blood squirting from behind her neck, as I crawl over to her.

I try to feel for her pulse, running my fingers next to her neck as I search for a pulse to no avail. No signs of her breathing existed, she was dead. In shock, I just put her head on my lap and stroked her head as tears fall from my face at the waste of my love.